These Things I'll Never Say
by thexlittlexlisa
Summary: The day she turned sixteen, Amu Hinamori received a rather detailed letter, though it was not a normal one, because who thought that something like a letter from your future self could change your whole way of thinking and handling? Well, it contained these things she'll never say.


_"If you do not expect the unexpected you will not find it,  
for it is not to be reached by search or trail."_  
**__****_—_** **Heraclitus**

**Songs: These Things I'll Never Say (Avril Lavigne)**

* * *

It was a day after her birthday; Amu Hinamori received a more or less strange and detailed letter.

The morning after her birthday, Amu woke up pretty early. The sun was streaming in from the windows and she made her way clumsily to the bathroom to brush her teeth when her eyes fell upon a letter which lay on the bathroom sink.

"… How did this get here?" She run her hands through her messy pink locks and took the rather thick and heavy envelope in her hands, turning it around.

For: Amu Hinamori

From: _Amu Hinamori_

The pinkette blinked a few times before muttering a quite "What's this? Man, my mother surely is to old for those jokes," while tossing it aside.

Sighing she walked to her dresser, forgetting this silly letter for just one moment. Amu took out her school uniform, a smile upon her face as she put it on, her eyes checking the clock. Today was her first day of the second high school year and she was one step further ahead into leaving Seiyo Academy and being free form all those disadvantages of high school life.

Running down the steps of their house, she nearly tripped over her own feet but got caught from her mother before anything bad could happen. A worried but at the same time amused expression adorned her face when she said, "Darling, how often do I need to tell you _not _to run down the stairs?"

Amu's face lightened up before she responded, "Sorry mum, I'm just in kinda hurry and I can't wait to see my friends again," The pinkette ran past her mother into the kitchen, stuffing the toast that lay on the plate into her mouth.

"It's not like you didn't see them through summer vacation," Her mother said laughing while she patted her back due to Amu's hard time swallowing the whole bread at once.

When everything in her mouth went down her throat she let out a slight cough-like sound and taking a deep breath. "Thanks,"

When she took her lunch and put it into her bag back, something fell out of it and before she could catch it; her mother had it in her hands. Amu blinked a few times due to her mother's surprised expression. _What's with this? She was the one who gave it to me anyway._

Amu cocked an eyebrow while leaning against the kitchen table, her head slightly hanging down. "Why do you look like you never saw this? Didn't this come from you?"

Her mother furrowed her brows, before a knowing expression appeared on her middle-aged face. "Ah, no, the letter is not from me. It came yesterday. I think I forgot it somewhere in your room when your grandma called. Why, is it something important?"

_So it wasn't a birthday joke of my mother?_

Amu rapidly took the letter from her mother's hand. "No, I don't think so. Well, I'll be leaving then, see you later!" She muttered the words in a kind of rush, so her mum didn't understand everything and looked after her with a surprised expression, but before Midori could utter anything, the front door closed and the Pinkette made her way to school, glaring at the letter in her hands.

"What's with you, huh? Was I even _that _stupid to throw it into my school bag?"Huffing, she put it into her uniform's skirt pocket and stalked the remaining way to Seiyo Academy in a bad mood.

* * *

When Nikaidou, her math teacher was getting the new transfer student, she took out the letter and played with it in her hands again.

_I guess I can read it now. _Opening the letter, she let out a breath that she held for the past hour and just hoped that no one of her friends would disturb her right now.

_Dear Amu Hinamori,_

_Hello my high school self, how are you?_

_I am currently writing to you, and that ten years from the future._

_Why? I need you to do something for me, something I couldn't do._

From the corner of her eyes, Amu wondered if someone knew what she was reading here. _Is this some fucked up joke? _She sighed, her face showing disbelieving, but Amu still kept reading.

_I think you're slightly confused by now, but please read this letter till the end, because it's very important that you understand everything of it._

_The me back then – and so you too - lived in an extremely sheltered world and I never realized how sheltered it really was._

_It felt like I was living with my utmost effort and therefore I've always thought that … well, that this was the **real **me._

_To change myself for love, I really couldn't have imagined something like that at all. Yes, back then, in your time, I really thought that I won't change …_

_When I met this one special person, it seemed that the view in my eyes became rich with colour just for love and the sound of wind in my ears became so much softer._

_Never did I know that the world would change because of **— **well, for you in the current time **— **such a trivial matter._

_And than, there was Ikuto, who taught me all of this, except for the fact that this person is … _

**no longer here.**

Amu leaned against her chair, letting the story thinking into her brain, before carefully reading again.

_So the reason I'm writing to you is that I don't want to make the same mistakes again._

The Pinkette shock her head, giving the letter a sour look. _That's so Bananarama._

_Haha, you're currently thinking that this is stupid, right? What was it? Bananarama, am I right? Yeah, well I was kinda lame ten years ago …_

Switching her left eye, Amu didn't know what to think right now. First, she felt utterly insulted, because this Wannabe Future self made jokes of _her _costs and secondly was she freaking out inside her head about the fact of this girl/boy/whatever knowing something like this, because she never used it out loud. Well, at least not with other people around.

_Today, you will have a new transfer student, whose name is Ikuto Tsukiyomi. He's really interested in music and has a cat named Yoru (his treasure). Ikuto will sit next to you, so be nice to him, okay?_

_Sincerely,_

_Your (still absolutely gorgeous looking) Future self._

"What the heck …" Amu muttered. "Although, it's true that there's a new transfer student …"

_What am I thinking? _ Putting the letter back into the envelope, she rolled her eyes. Even though this person does know some things only she could know, that doesn't mean she needed to take it seriously.

When the classroom door slid open and Nikaidou walked in, a rather bored looking boy followed behind him, still looking gorgeous, though.

Amu closed her eyes, praying the first time to God ever. _Please don't have the name Ikuto, Pleeeasse._

"This guy's name," the teacher said once the class had settled down, "is Ikuto Tsukiyomi."

Amu's eyes twitched and the pinkette muttered a slightly "Seriously?" to the ceiling of the room.

"You can sit beside Amu Hinamori, it's the only seat left open," Nikaidou-sensei said cheerfully.

The blue haired young man looked into her direction and when he took the seat beside her, a smirk played around his lips.

"I hope we get along well, _Amu_."

_Now way_. Her mouth fell open and if this was the guy her so called "Future self" was talking about, than she'd eat a besom right before his eyes for sure.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Duh, got lazy with the end. Sorry for any grammar and spelling fails, it's late and I'm really sorry that I haven't updated for a long time, I have scholl til **4 o'clock** everyday and I'm home around **5**, so it's hard to do anything besides **school**. I hope I can update sooner and I **will**, for sure, just don't know **when**. This idea stuck with me since a long time and I've begun writing this a long time ago and just finished it (therefore the end is really baaaad), but I hope you like it nonetheless.

**Summary: **You know how every now and then, you have a moment where your whole life stretches out ahead of you like a forked road, and even as you choose one gritty path you've got your eyes on the other the whole time, certain that you're making a mistake. _- _The day she turned sixteen, Amu Hinamori received a rather detailed letter, though it was not a normal one, because who thought that something like a letter from your future self could change your whole way of thinking and handling? Well, it contained these things she'll never say.

**Edit:** This story is not related to "Orange" in any way. I didn't even know this manga existed when I wrote this. When my sister got a homework to write a letter to her future self, I got this idea and that's all.

**Review lovelies ~***


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